90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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