haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
