your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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