Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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