Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
