Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
