it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
