"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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