woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize