Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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