the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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