i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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