seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
