Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
