you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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