So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
