She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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