There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
then he tried to convert me to islam
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
