if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
