Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
