guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
