wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
