Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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