moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
