'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
