It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
