I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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