I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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