I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
