Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
