she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
