You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
