I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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