Swine flu. Run for my life!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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