You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
how do flat chested girls get laid?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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