It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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