so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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