Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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