i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
