I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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