ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
