All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
