I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
