is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
one might say we're banned from that church
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
