i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
