u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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