She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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