I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
