I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im holly from the hills drunk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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