i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
