i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
