Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
