Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
