please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize