you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
