KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
