i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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