The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
